I wrote this a while ago, while working really hard to create a workable, lasting relationship.

What is Important to me in Relationship

I’d like to be in a relationship where the love is gracefully known (felt), especially during mundane times and times of disagreement.

My Hopes for Right Now

©      I’d like clarity of communication and non-judgment

©      Certainty of non-hurtful intent

©      Presumption of lovingness

©      Close listening

o        ability when one of us is troubled for the other to listen from a place of wanting to know and understand the other’s trouble/hurt/pain/anxiety/anger

o        ability for the speaker/expresser to ask for this

o        ability and willingness for the listener to identify when the listener can’t offer this

©      Mutual appreciation

©      Desire to learn about each other

o        not fearing our differences or the acknowledgment of them to each other

o        learning from a position that believes the other is honest and loving (not the other’s bogeyman)

©      Dating exclusively (not dating others) unless we agree otherwise or end the relationship

©      Focus on positively and actively engaging each other and continuing to learn what we each enjoy

o        keeping space and time for supporting each other’s healing and growth

©      Allow for other things and people in each of our lives

©      Increasing ability and time and love for bringing those people into each other’s lives

©      Safety to express when I’m not feeling or doing any of these

Liabilities I Bring

Ø      Fear and Insecurity

Ø      Self-doubt

Ø      Willingness to move/run away

Ø      Depression

Ø      Dishonesty in the expression of my emotions

v     I rationalize why it isn’t okay for me to express how I’m feeling

Ø      History of non-expression of anger

Ø      Irrational fear of hurting

Home  Reflections