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08/26/2001 Entry: "naked buddha"
During my recent trip to Florida, I spent about four days in Key West at an "Alternative, Adult Resort." Fancying myself an alternative adult, I pushed my previous limits of public exposure to new levels. With Start Where Your Are in hand I lost my suit and joined the other folks lounging around the pool. I'm not sure what was more odd, me being naked in a public/private place or me being naked reading a buddhist book on compassionate living in a public private place. At the risk of sounding like my least favorite network news channel, I'll report and let you decide.
A Bad Start
I flew into Jacksonville about 10:30PM on Tuesday evening and was met by a friend from Gainesville. By 11PM or so we had picked up my bags at baggage claim and headed out the airport for the car. My friend, JNTS, indicated that he'd parked the car a lot next to the parking garage and led me in the direction of the car. As we wandered toward the far end of the parking lot, JNTS indicated that he'd parked at the end of a row, near a stop sign, so the car would be easy to find. I asked if he'd checked the row number and he responded that he had seen the number 6. As I gently pointed out that we were approaching row 40, he insisted that we were nearing the place he'd parked his car. After fifteen minutes or so of him approaching white cars and then move away after leaning toward their license plates and muttering, "no, that's not it", I pitched a small fit and aske dhim to clarify for me if he had checked the row number when he parked. He indicated that he had and I pointed to the sign for row 10 on the opposite side of the parking garage and insisted that we begin our search anew over there. We found the car, but in the process I found myself aware of just how bad my friend's eyesite was. I quietly resolved that I would have to drive the entire way to Key West. Somewhere around 11:30 we got on the road.
At approximately 7:30AM on Wednesday morning, we pulled into the parking lot of the Atlantic Shores Resort in Key West. Thankfully, they allowed us to check in and catch some sleep. I got up around 10:30AM and wandered around to some of my favorite places on Duval Street and then returned to the motel room shortly after noon. JNTS awakened and suggested that we go check out the pool and pier area. We donned our bathing suits and headed over to the pool-side bar.
A False Start
As I walked over to the deck around the pool the "Chair Boy" brought me a deck chair and I reclined in the sun and looked around at the assortment of folks in various states of (un)dress. I was immediately struck by the perception that maybe only a quarter or a third of people were bathing suitless or topless. I noted that I still had my suit on. Some automatic, instantaneous calculations occurred in my mind assessing the genders and sexual orientations of the people sunbathing and hanging out at the bar. It appeared to me that about half of the people sunbathing were lesbian or gay with the other half being mostly straight couples. Almost everyone sitting around the bar was an older (than me) gay male wearing street clothes - "leering trolls" in my instant and somewhat severe judgment/condemnation. I resolved not to conduct myself like them. I'd either get naked and participate or I'd just avoid the pool and the pier and enjoy other parts of the beach and Key West.
I lounged in the deck chair and read with my suit on. I imagined myself standing up and removing my bathing suit several times, but failed each time I tried to put my vision into action. I noticed several folks around the pool who appeared to be regulars there. They had brown, leathery-looking skin. The women appeared to be my age or a little older. They'd had obvious, substantial breast implants and were without any visible pubic hair on their totally naked bodies. They each had tatoos or piercings in their hairless pubic areas. The men with each of them appeared to be 15 to 20 years older. I imagined that these were the women these men had left their wives and families for when they were about my age.
As I started to stand and remove my bathing suit, I was very much aware of my friend's presence next to me. I was very much aware that he had a longstanding and often indirectly expressed desire to have sex with me. I was aware of how creeped out I was feeling about this and about him and about being naked anywhere near him. For the rest of the time I was at the pool, this awareness kept me from participating and relaxing and being naked.
I stirred restlessly on the lounge chair. I moved to my stomach, propped up on my elbows and struggled to read the book I'd brought out with me. I was reading the chapter on overcoming resistance. I read:
Accumulating merit. The first of the four practices is to accumulate merit. The way to accumulate merit is to be willing to give, willing to open, willing not to hold back. It is described as letting go of holding on to yourself, letting your stronghold of ego go....As a result of opening yourself, you begin to experience your world as more friendly....You find it easier to practice the dharma, you have fewer kleshas, and circumstances seem to be hospitable.
I looked up from the book and looked right between the widely-spread legs of one of the women I mentioned earlier. I noted the precise locations of her piercings and certain parts of the female anatomy that time and inhibition had left a little "fuzzy" for me. I decided to head somewhere else for the rest of the day.
to be continued
